Pressure from sociological forces such as TV programming, movies, advertising, family, and friends dictate that you must pair off for a long-term relationship and join the herd or “couples only” club.
While this is easy for those who happen to be fated to have a relationship with a compatible, long-term partner, what about everyone else?
Based on our extensive empirical research, you meet who you’re meant to meet when you’re meant to meet them. For those who don’t meet “the one” before age 30, 40, or whatever other age they feel they’re supposed to secure a “permanent” partner, it can cause a lot of anxiety and even depression.
If you’re single, rather than focusing on what you don’t have in your love life, we recommend embracing the benefits; there are many of being on your own, and we list some of them below.
1) Freedom. As a single person, you can do what you want, when you want. Yes, in a karmic sense, everything you do, say, and intend comes back to you either in this life and more often in a future life, but when you’re single you aren’t accountable to anyone else.
2) No compromising. Even people in compatible relationships need to compromise occasionally. As a single person, you don’t need to surrender anything unless you choose to.
3) More time to focus on other areas of your life. Career, health, friendship, and other goals can take center stage with all the energy you need to accomplish them.
4) No in-laws. As a single person, there are no obligations to spend time with people you may not really want to.
5) Solo vacations are fun (you meet more people).
6) If you live alone, your space is yours to do with as you please.
7) You can live out your fantasies, within ethical and legal boundaries, and no one will try to stop you or tell you that you are “wrong” if they don’t happen to agree.
8) You never have to deal with telling someone it’s over and having them try to guilt you into staying together.
9) No pressure to perform in bed when you don’t feel like it.
10) You can flirt with anyone you want and not feel guilty.
11) You never have to be concerned or anxious about whether or not your partner is living up to his or her promises when you’re not around.
12) You can be intimate with who you want, when you want (responsibly and safely, of course).
13) Being single means you’re operating in your flow, at your pace, and you’re not psychically blown off course by another person.
14) No pressure to do what you’re “supposed to” do on holidays (e.g., Valentine’s day, etc.).
15) No emotionally unhealthy reliance on others to be your “everything,” which always leads to disappointment, or pressure from another to fulfill all their their needs.
16) Your m.o.n.e.y is your m.o.n.e.y and you aren’t responsible for a partner who may not make good financial choices.
17) Everyone changes and evolves at different rates. Because you’re single, you don’t have to put your relationship ahead of your spiritual growth, or feel guilty about leaving a partner behind if they choose not to be the best they can be or if you’ve grown apart to the point of no return.
If you mistakenly buy into the myth that you need a partner to be happy, being single can be lonely at times. But on a spiritual and soul level, you are never really alone, so enjoy your days of being single while you can.
Copyright © Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo